


Reading "Out of My Mind"

by yourlibrarian



Series: Reading Fan Vids [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Commentary, Fanvids, Gen, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 10:32:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6750337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourlibrarian/pseuds/yourlibrarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some ideas about what was happening in Sam's head while Dean was in hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reading "Out of My Mind"

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Out of My Mind](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/194824) by sweetiejen. 



> Originally posted on May 1, 2009

The vid delves into what the show only skimmed over –- Sam's state of mind during Dean's absence in between S3 and S4. I liked how the vid opened with images of grief and obsessiveness. Although he's at a different point now, I like how the vid suggests that Sam has become lost to himself by the whole process.

The vid is full of lovely bits: for example Sam being grabbed as he lays flowers at a grave, and then the rise of Dean's hand out of the grave at the very end. Sam seems to think he's going crazy, but maybe he's just being haunted. 

I really enjoyed how Sweetiejen parallels all these activities the boys used to do together, but which Sam now does alone. He isn't adjusting well to it, he's always aware of who isn't there. Sam continues hunting, continues searching for Dean, questions his own sanity, but he goes on. In the moments at 2:57 as the song talks about Dean being a "ghost" in Sam, it's questionable who Sam even is at that point -- it's like his old self, too, is just a ghost in him now. 

I think these quick overlays speak so strongly about the following scenes with Ruby, and Sam gaining power. Dean's sacrifice-at-all-cost ethos has sunk into Sam, so that he's ready to go down the most appalling paths if it will get him his goal at the end. But who is Dean going to find when he does return? The vid leaves a number of questions open that we can fill in the answers as we like.


End file.
